In today’s article I’m going to share with you my insights and three tips to help you to ask for (and get) what you need!
The first tip to asking and getting what you need is to have clarity as to what it is you are asking for. If you have uncertaintly or are not 100% clear about what you need how can you expect to get it? I’m a big fan of visualisation and the use of affirmations and as a creatively focused life and business coach I find myself having regular conversations with different people who have tried to use these tools with varying degrees of success. More often than not the reason we are having the conversation is because they feel the tools don’t work. When we delve into it a bit further I find, time and time again that they did get exactly what they asked for! The issue was not with the tools or the methods used to manifest but in the question or request. Basically it wasn’t clear or wasn’t a true representation of what they really needed. It’s worth investing some time in getting your question right and ensuring you have absolute clarity when it comes to asking for what you need
Tip #2 ~ Don’t be too emotional
The second tip to asking for and getting what you need is to not be too emotional. Before you jump in here and say, “But don’t I need to be emotionally invested for this to be a need?” or somehting like that I’m going to ask you to think about the degree and type of emotion. I agree that you do need to have some degree of emotional investment for it to be something you want to ask for but don’t be emotional about it when you are asking. If you are too emotionally involved it can come across in the wrong way. Imagine a work scenario for example. Maybe you can picture needing to ask someone to help you with something. I’m going to imagine that you’ve taken into account what I outlined in tip #1 and have clarity about what you need. An empowered woman isn’t going to come across in an emotional manner is she? No, she’s going to be calm, clear and empowered when she asks for what she needs. She is going to show self respect and therefore be respected and have her request listened to (and I think, most probably met). If we are too emotional all that is heard by the person we are asking is emotion. They can’t listen past that to hear what it is we are really asking
Tip #3 ~ Give yourself permission to ask
The last tip is about permission. As a coach I see a lot of women who are stuck in disempowering thought patterns that hold them back from asking for what they need. Sometimes this might be because we’ve asked and been knocked back so we believe that what we want (our need met) isn’t worth asking for. Maybe you observed others asking for the ‘same thing’ and they had their requests ignored or scoffed at. Whatever it is, for some reason, a lot of women have trouble giving themselves permission to actually ask for what they need. I’m going to ask you to answer this question; “What would an empowered woman do if she has a need that she wanted met?” You might like to close your eyes and ask the question and see what comes up. One thing I know for sure is that she believes she has a right to have her needs met and with that (and clarity and self respect) she has an in-built permission to step up and ask for what she needs. What’s the worst that can happen? Someone might say no, but then again they might just say yes!
As always I’d love to hear your thoughts and so value that you take the time to share. Please add your comments below
Untill next week I wish you an incredible week of creative possibility